Farm Stories By Adam

How not to make a pond

So my friends dad’s friend wanted a fish pond. So my friends dad says: ” get a hole auger, some fertilizer and some diesel fuel call me up when everything is ready and I will bring the fuse”. Anyway a week later his friend called and said he was ready for the fuse. So he bought a quarter mile fuse, when he gets there he finds the guy used a telephone pole auger around 4 feet wide and instead of a few bags of fertilizer he bought a few pallets of the stuff. And instead of some diesel fuel he bought a trailer full of it. He said he had drilled 24 holes filled with fuel and fertilizer, in the size of an average 2 bathroom 3 bedroom house. The man with the fuse said ” I thought you wanted a fish pond, not a passage to the earth’s core.  He said that’s right, I do want a fish pond. So they set the fuse and went running for the nearby forest. When it exploded it was described as raining huge chunks of mud. When they realized what had happened they jumped in a truck and headed the other way. Someone flagged them down and when they stopped they thought “today die” but the guy asked did they hear the huge explosion? They  said yes and they thought it was over there (opposite direction) and that’s where they were headed. Anyway my friends dad’s friend got one interesting fish pond.

Story 2

Crazy  Combine Chick

So we were combining a field of soybeans and it was not on the main farm, it was a neighbors and there was a small 2 acre lot with a house next to the field. Some woman ran out into the field, bawling yelling “murderer murderer your killing it your killing it. I hopped out of the combine and turned off the engine. The grain cart driver and we talked to the woman and she told us that she had watched it grow all summer and now we were killing it and she would call the police. We thought she was crazy and we got back in the machinery and started running it again through the field, about an hour later she was still watching and by this point the cops were not there yet. We went along with the field and were driving back to the main farm, and a cop car passed us, thank goodness we left that field when we did.

Story 3

Halloween Harvester Halt

Back In 2008 we were driving our new, New Holland TR96 combine down the highway. We bought this new beast because our old harvester a New Holland TR80 combine swallowed a valve cylinder, causing it to start smoking and skip RPM’s. This was a problem so we parked it in the back of a barn and went to pick up the TR96. The TR96 had a top speed of 16.1 miles  per hour, we left  and the highway we were traveling on had a speed limit of 60. Anyways, It was Halloween night and the road was backed up behind us, the story even made the radio. Then we were almost half way there and the police pulled us over and told us we could not go on. There was no way we were going to leave This new beautiful Combine just sitting out on the highway all night. The police said ” well you will have to”. We said that we would pitch a tent and sleep with the combine if they wouldn’t let us continue. They then informed us that, that was highly illegal and they wouldn’t allow it. We said to stop us and they said they would, after a while we came to a compromise, of which we could go lock it up at the police station, and we could get it at daybreak the next day. At 7:18 we arrived, keys in hand ready to fire up the beast. The police informed us that they would phone the next town over’s police and that we would go through there instead of taking the highway. We had our friend frank with us driving the truck behind us, when we were once again, you guessed it, Pulled over. Well this cop said that we would not go on and we had to put it on a trailer and pull it home. Frank got out of the truck and snarled “you didn’t receive a call from the state police did you? The officer said no, and we explained what had happened and he gave us a police escort to the next town which was close enough to the farm that we could just drive on our own from there. The combine worked fine and was fine when we parked it at home and started harvesting, but boy were we all mad. The combine worked up until 2014 when we retired the whole grain operation and we sold most of our grain equipment and that went with it. The combine worked up until the day we sold it and we drove it up on to a trailer to haul off.

Story 4

From Revved up to burnt up

It was a bright June day in 2011 when we were out cutting  hay field on the side of long road with our backup hay cutter (Gehl 2512 Side-Tow Discbine) and our row-row 4960 John Deere Tractor in 13th gear and then disaster struck. A distinctly burning smell rose from the rear of the engine compartment, filling the cab with the odor, thinking it was just a gear lock-up we kept going, soon right in front of the cab glowed orange. We hopped out of the cab, sprinting for safety. The glass soon melted, engulfing the cab in flames, Then the engine caught fire, then the drive shaft. The fire extinguisher was no good and now the rear tires, engulfed in flames, were starting to melt. This meant a real safety hazard. Soon thereafter a fire company showed up and put out the flame. The tractor was a total loss, and wasn’t fixed until 2014, when it was split and restored, now serving as a work tractor for pulling wagons and drills and balers. The tractor was not a total loss though because we got a new 8120 John Deere to take all the work off of that 4960. The End, Happily Ever After.

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